What is the one thing you are most proud about in your life to date?

Is it a professional accomplishment? Is it your children or family? Perhaps it’s that degree that took forever to complete.

Whatever your answer may be, it will always be relevant to you, and your lifetime.

So what about your Legacy? What will you be proud to leave behind?

This past weekend challenged me to look back at my life in parts, and the accomplishments that went along with them. But upon reflection, its wasn’t my professional accomplishments that made me proud, it was the people I was able to influence and mentor along the way that truly gave me a humbling sense of satisfaction and purpose.

When I was 18, I was catapulted into a senior management position at work, fresh out of school. I was so determined to succeed, that I stepped on many toes and found myself in some very difficult situations, all alone.

That’s when I realised my approach was completely wrong. I worked in a team environment, and for us to succeed, we needed to stand together and embrace our differences and carry each other when we were falling.

No one of us, is greater than the other.

Little did I know then, it would be a philosophy I would adopt in every aspect on my life.

During my late teens in this role, I had the pleasure of working with hundreds of teenagers that all had their own demons in life they were facing. But each of them, had such potential, they just needed to get through the hardships of their youth and be able to embrace themselves for who they were.

I came across someone who was struggling with accepting their sexuality, and it resounded so strong in my heart. Watching that familiar pain, and feelings of inadequacy. I would try and council them, but at the time, I wasn’t out to my family. One particular day I remember this individual came into work with his wrists still bleeding. It was in that moment, I knew, I wasn’t doing all I could.

The next day, I planted some test results in plain sight of my mother, that I knew would spark that uncomfortable conversation. At the time I didn’t have the courage to just “bring it up” but I knew I could no longer lie. Not only was I being a coward and feeling ashamed of who I was, but more importantly to me, I was not setting an example of who I was aspiring to be.

Now this may have been somewhat of a coming out story, but looking back at it now, it was the moment I was willing to endure anything to help someone and bring them happiness.

My workplace, from there on, felt like a small family (of 150 or so). And each individual that worked for me, worked WITH me. I adopted a paternal instinct there. So much that it wasn’t the job that kept me there for so long, it was the people. And having the ability to influence and lead people in their most influential years was profound.

My proudest moment from that job, was actually one particular girl. A 15 year old who endured so much in her life already. She had such a heart of gold, so pure and would do just about anything to make me proud. The minute I met her, I knew she was someone who could achieve greatness. She had such a hard time in her past, but she always remained positive, and would always help me out whenever I needed her. Sadly, no one else in my management team at the time believed in her, and were vocal about it.

But I knew that sometimes, all you need in one person to believe in you, and she proved them all wrong. I spent 6 years working along side with her, coaching and developing her. Both professionally and personally. And to my surprise, she did the same to me. When I left that role, it was so difficult to leave behind these ‘kids’ that I had developed such an affinity with. But I left that parental role to her. And she took that torch and ran so far with it. That was true success to me.

Almost 11 years later, she is someone I am SO proud to call one of my closest friends who is so similar to me in so many ways. Always there when I need it, and when I don’t.

There were so many people in those 13 years with that company, that I had the blessing of meeting, working with, developing and mentoring. Stemming from homophobic bullies turned advocate for equality, teen pregnancies, broken marriages, all the way to substance abuse turned clean. Way too many to mention, but each story is a beautiful memory that I was humbled to be a part of.

So back to this particular weekend. It was a very special persons 21st Birthday. This particular person not only worked for me in his youth, but I also had the opportunity to take him in to live with me and my (then) partner. He has had a hard life, and was often afflicted with negative notions of ‘not being good enough’ for anything or anyone.

When I took him in (standing there with no shoes), I had no idea my world would change. Initially thinking it would be a couple days until he was back on his feet, ended up with me feeling like a father contemplating legal adoption. Putting his needs before my own. Something I didn’t think was possible. I spent so much time with him, both personally and professionally. Developing his confidence, trust, character, and ethics, and for a first, disciplining at home. I wanted him to succeed. I wanted everything to pan out perfectly for him. He had endured enough.

When it came time for me to relocate back to Melbourne from South Australia, I knew he wanted to come with me, and I wasn’t ready to leave him. But he did something I will always be thankful for. He got on his feet, and let me go, alone.

At the time, I needed to search for myself and rebuild from the ground up. I knew it would be incredibly hard to do that, and still foster a teenager, but he made the hardest decision for me. I remember the day I left. It was a feeling of loss, beyond comprehension. I was inconsolable for days in the shadows.

But I had to believe in him, his determination, his strength, and what I had taught him would be enough. On the biggest plus, he was back with his true family, where he needed to be. And I was hopeful he would rebuild those bridges with them in my absence.

What I saw on this weekend, wasn’t a ignorant, arrogant and selfish person. The repair to his relationships with his family was tremendous. His ability to lead was really evident and his capabilities are limitless.

I saw someone I would only be proud to call my ‘Son’.

“Kiddo, if you’re reading this, you have made such an impact of so many lives around you. Always be mindful of others and stay true to who you are. Believe in yourself like I do in you. I’d never realistically contemplated having children. But it’s because of you, and your faith in me, that I know I will make an excellent father. Thank you!”

When you leave this world, it’s not your accomplishments that will define you, it’s those you helped on your journey. The lives you touch at one point or another, matter. It’s those influences in your life that help shape you and will be a testament to your true character. And THAT will be your legacy.

Forgive quickly, love easily, and be a beacon of light.

Be the influence to others that inspire you.

#NatsPerspective