Being a champion to others almost always comes at a cost to ourselves.

It’s important to recognise when the cost is greater than what your soul can afford.

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Let’s talk about a topic that is almost taboo to talk about publicly. It’s confronting, it’s intimidating, it’s ugly, and it can be seen as a sign of weakness. It’s called, “Unrequited love.”

We all have gone through it at one point in our lives, and the truth is, we have all been on both sides of the blade.

So why on either side, does it have such an impact on us? And why have i referenced it as ‘blade’?

For those on the receiving end, the feeling can be flattering and humbling, whilst also being confronting, uncomfortable and ultimately can leave you examining your actions and words ever so carefully.

Walls that were broken down because of comfortability and trust, will subconsciously be rebuilt in an attempt to keep those unrequited feelings at bay.

There can be a sense of guilt that we have enabled these feelings to progress on a bias of genuine companionship.

But are we supposed to blame ourselves for simply enjoying the company of another?

For those on the bitter sweet side, harbouring those feelings, it can be joyous, exciting, nerve racking and exhilarating. But at the same time, once the air has been cleared and words are spoken, it can become a anxiety riddled attempt at telepathy.

The process can start to plague your mind into thinking negative connotations about those positive feelings.

“Am i stupid for feeling happy? Am i so out of touch that i see things that aren’t actually there? Am i not good enough? Have i shown interest too soon? Did i not say enough? Or did i say too much?”

All these feelings and thoughts are perfectly normal! They are what builds your strength and compassion.

However, it can be such a ‘delicate’ process to identify that dwelling on the thoughts of unworthiness, can also become you’re own undoing, and ultimately ruin you for what comes next. It’s so important to recognise this, as it’s what will be your strength should your ever be in the opposing circumstances. It will be what divides you from the rest.

The hardest thing in either situation is the anxiety created by the constant question of “what are they thinking?” (Where’s Professor Xavier when you need him?).

It’s a question that will never gain you an answer that you believe nor accept.

I’ve never understood people who think disappearing (or ghosting) is the answer.

In saying that, not many people can understand my upfront (and sometimes brutal) honesty.

It’s important to recognise what works for one, may not be universal.

Some take time to process situations, and for some, it takes talking it out to process them.

We are all unique, we all have individual views and needs when it comes to love and understanding.

And just because those views don’t meet the same criteria, doesn’t mean you are any less deserving or worthy of something irrevocably amazing.

Surrender, Admit Defeat, Mourn, Learn, Refresh, Renew, Grow

#NatsPerspective